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Today we lost a friend.

The thief, this time- Pancreatic cancer.

He was younger than both of us.

I have an overwhelming sense of sadness;

A lump-in-throat,

ache-in-chest,

Tony has departed the physical earth…

Remembering back to the night we met,

at his dad’s and Becky’s house…

Romeo was massaging Becky

and I was feeling excluded, and

at the very least, a teensy bit

new lover jealous.

Up walks young, handsome Tony

stands in front of me

with his arm above my head,

against the wall

he drew me into his arms

with passionate kisses

presses

his lips, both soft and hard

against mine.

I thought him much younger than me,

5 years…

is all it was.

 Today, I feel mortal;

More mortal then with my own cancer

or the demon, MS.

Today my tears,

my prayers

are for Tony,

his wife, his young girls.

 

Rest-in-Peace,

sweet Tony.

Your spirit will live in our hearts

 

 

 

A holiday! Free from the office madness

still awaken early, as is my habit;

birds not yet aroused.

I put on coffee to perk and my Christmas slippers

step outside to see what this dawn will bring.

 

The fragrance of roses

draws me down the damp, muddy path

still wet from yesterday’s rain.

The very best roses are at the very corner

of the house

where the pathway ends

and the deck begins 

When Romeo returned

after decades being away

he transplanted them from our neighbors yard

who did not care for Roses

and was pleased when I started tending them.

He offered them to us when he was moving away-

I said yes. 

My Yes

meant Romeo had to dig and pry them up

from their current space

repositioning them in our backyard.

I remember

He was not as overwhelmed with joy

as I. 

Now,

these many years after,

they flourish,

a testament to his care of them

and love for me.

This morning I snip a few of the finest specimens

tucking them into four

brilliant glass vases…

just to make him smile

when he

awakens.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

 

 

Blood Moons

My beloved tells me that the first of the tetrads-

full moons that happen to fall on Jewish feast days

this almost never happens

and

 last happened in 1948 and 1967

In the next 12 months it will happen

four times

We are not Jewish

but we pay attention…

Romeo is a biblical scholar

I am a watcher

of the Moon…

 

In dreams

Don’t you just hate it when you have

dreams that make no sense

even wile they are happening?

Last night was one of those nights

and I, for one, was happy when the

alarm stuck a wooden stake in it

ending the nightmares at 4:45…

Burned out offices, dead people- alive;

hanging out with people I do not even like…

and parallel parking.

That on it’s own a personal nightmare.

The stir-fry with hot Chinese mustard

was great, my love

but what it produced within my sleeping mind

was anything

but sweet dreams! 

Reverse Negative

Reverse Negative

In photography, a reverse negative is a print of the negative image

where once was light- now darkness where there is dark, it glows

                    ***

I have moments in the shadows

seconds in the sunlight

there are epochs when daylight seems a darker shade

of night…

blue satin sky

inky velvet night

now this

my sixth decade

you find me find me balancing-

teetering

on

a golden gossamer thread

between life

and

eventual demise…

When I was 11

We visited my father’s favorite great aunt, Della

She of ample bosom fallen to waist line

still, much adored…

she, of faded, yellowed hair

she,

who loved my dark, dark auburn hair…

In the mirror of her life

She saw the past reside in the freckled

face of an 11 year old me

 

I screeched

then ran down the steps from that wonderful wide

Wraparound porch

to the tool shed behind her garden

where squash and okra grew.

I sobbed.

Several lifetimes later,

While looking in old family

photo album as a child, my precious, favorite nephew picked

“me” out in a picture and wondered why

I was wearing those old timey clothes…

It was she,

not me in the photograph.

My now nearly 40 year old eyes

acknowledged what Aunt Dell saw in me

at eleven.

 

Fatigue

Dawn, not yet broken,

I awaken early;

birds yet to chirp

or coffee to perk.

I feel as if I never slept in my

dream wracked night.

It is still dark!

I yawn…

already, needing a nap…

 

 

        Today, the Ides of March!

I wonder what  Caesar was feeling when he

awakened on this fateful day

many centuries past…

 

I, stepped out into Spring!

 A wet, overpowering dense fog

clinging to plants

obscuring everything…

equally

 

the warm, wet morning

the ensuing rains

elicit a smile…

 

greeted by peas and radishes

in the garden

onions growing tall

tomato and pepper plants begging

to be planted

 

Is it spring?

is it spring?

is it spring they cry?

 

I declare it, at last…

in my world,

Spring is here

            

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